Christmas...... humbug :P

I don't feel anything, I know christmas is supposed to fill you with love for your fellow man but I got nothing. Ill give a homeless guy my pretzel and buy my big issue as I would any other time and Ill love my son just as much as I have all the days of his life, one day in December is no different to who I am and what I feel. Of course I'm looking forward to spoiling my son and seeing his face as he opens presents but it would be super if christmas could be done at that point, simply let him get on with enjoying his gifts. Uggh the thought of having to go over to my parents have 'pleasant' conversation without so much as a feel good festive film on the telly to distract me because father decided we don't watch telly that day... well we bloody used to *groan*
We will go through the motions of pulling crackers, telling the bad jokes and pretending to be impressed with the plastic crap that falls out of said crackers. Father will try and force feed us booze so his alcohol dependence isn't so blatantly obvious for once and appears more acceptable. I will say thank you for the chocolates and smellies I didn't want and grimace as my son is given rubbish presents that had no thought put into them and be glad I got him what I did, even though I think its never enough.
Don't get me wrong I'm not a scrooge I just can't see the point in stuffing myself stupid and guzzling gallons of wine so as I'm sick. I do though pretend I love it every year. My mum enjoys the day as of course does my son but man I'm soooo bored!!!
Mehh maybe I have just misplaced my christmas magic?? Ill check down the back of the sofa for it but have the feeling all I'm going to come up with is a bit of loose change.