Reducing my carbon footprint....

'Aww your just like every other girl arnt ya, love a cuddle after sex' this he says half taking the Micheal whilst prodding me in the side... charmed I'm sure lmao but it's not as though he's clambering to get away is it 'Oh my godddd the crazy Lady's cuddling me get her offfff!! Oh the painnnnn, oh the turmoil....' hahaha....
Really though, can't be that bad because he was back again last night to work his magic... sooo as you can guess I am in a considerably better mood today ;) *waggles eyebrows suggestively* hehe.... aaand if you think about it, me getting my jollies is good for the planet too! How you ask? well I don't need the heat on while I'm, err... producing my own as it were, so it's reducing my carbon footprint ta-dah :) god I'm good!! :P Now if only they could invent a sex powered car we'd be sorted :P

Just having a whinge :( disregard.

Ok I'm grouchy there's nothing else to it. I've been trying to be in a good mood and lift myself up ever since christmas day but it's just not happening. I don't like to be maudlin but sometimes you simply have to get on with it and hope it eventually works it's way out of your system, and I don't like to bat around the term nobody understands me because I guess that cant be true, or at least I hope not or we're all bugged.
The truth of it is no one pays enough attention in order to understand. I know I know I'm having a whinge, but quite frankly from time to time it does ya good. And anyway if I whinge at the people I really need to they will just tell me to pull my socks up, be quiet and get on with it..... well that wouldn't help me one little bit.
Oh good lord I hope I'm in a better mood soon, scowling does nothing for me :(

Humbug!!!

Christmas is as much this year as any other a great big steaming pile of poo. I go because its what you do, every year the same thing. I get less and less in the way of gifts, I have to say my favorite this year are my pop socks!! I don't want loads of money spending on me, far from it. Just a little effort putting in rather than 'that'll do' gifts. Sometimes I feel like an inconvenience more than a family member and by the time the days over I've had quite enough and want to lock everyone out.
Maybe next year I'll pretend I'm sick and just stay at home or I might actually have someone to spend it with and not be 'that single mum'. Meh I don't know.
Anyway on the plus side I am home and my son is upstairs practically wetting himself watching his new box set of Family Guy on his brand spanking new telly I got him (the first one I've let him have in his room and he's well happy) so that's making me smile listening to that :)

The key to Christmas day survival: Breath, relax and DON'T kill anyone :) It will all be over soon enough.

I wanna see your cum face!

Oh my god why??? oh the shame.... hehe. In my opinion I look like a pig snorting sneezing powder sitting on a stinging nettle lol its really, really not the best look in the world. Unpretty to say the least lol
So there I am trying to look as perfect as I can. Ya know suck my tummy in keep my make up from smudging and pray to god I don't fart...... fellas can get away with it but girls?? nooooo lol And after all that effort what happens? I'm practically cross eyed with mascara escaping down my face and he's grinning like a Cheshire cat at the sight, I give up lol. And as for the wobbly bits, well they are indeed wobbling and getting grabbed enthusiastically so I think ahhh heck sod it, I can't look any worse :P
So I may as well just enjoy myself in my state of dishevelment because I know the bloke doesn't care that my hair is a mess... that's his fault anyway lol He just see's I'm naked and as a bonus there is a beer to hand :P mind you he'll have to get his own......... that's mine lol

Getting to old for this......

I recon I'm getting to old for this :P I go out, and to a christmas party none the less then I don't get drunk! whats up with that eh? lol I'm not saying that I think being squiffy is the best state of mind or awfully good for your insides but blast its fun :P So I don't understand why after only three beers I have absolutely no inclination to drink another one or indeed get on the voddy :P thus my only conclusion is I'm getting to old for this because I sure as hell ain't getting boring! I'm not ready for my slippers and cardy just yet thankyou very much :P
But the past few times I've been out my sobriety has gotten the better of me, disturbing isn't it? :P I think I really must put the effort in mustn't I hehe.
I will do my vodka homework set by my tutor Mr Jack Daniels more....' refresher course that I best take then recite an uplifting chant of self encouragement:- 'I must not come home sober, I must not come home sober.........'

Older verses younger.

The question is, which is better in bed. Teenage boys or grown men? Harry Hill would say there's only one way to find out..... FIGHT lmao
I expect that it is very true that the younger have lots of energy and enthusiasm, and that's all well and good but I'm just not attracted to fresh faced boys how ever nicely ripped their bodies are ;) I love to see a bit of age, looking at a fellas face seeing some lines knowing hes had the ideas, done them already and perfected his technique is soooo sexy to me. He doesn't have to necessarily be older than me, just not so young that I would worry if he'd eaten his greens...
But then I seem to be bucking the trend, am I wrong not to hop on the bandwagon and get my jollies with a young guy? Sure Id love a bit of no strings boffing who wouldn't but if the apron strings haven't even been cut yet is it right? I wouldn't want to go to bed with someone who still has a bed-time and the real risk of detention if homework isn't done.
I cant help thinking of the American pie films. The young lads running around trying to get their ends away then I feel like Stifflers mom (although not quite as buxom lol) and Im not all too sure Im used to being 31 with the capability of being the older woman. Id rather be in the American beauty film gettin me a lil Kevin spacey lovin oooh please.
Ive no doubt these young fellas are having great fun servicing the older Lady's humping their way about like living sex toys that wont ask for a commitment, don't want it and go away when no longer required but its not for me.
I'm not a nutty bunnie boiler wanting commitment but I'd like to properly get on with my bed mate have a laugh as well as earth rocking orgasms hehe oh and knowing what a cassette tape is even though irrelevant would be super lol well maybe not that haha I just wouldn't want to be saying things like 'when I was young.....' That would make me feel about 90!! and not in the least sexy which kinda defeats the point.

ps, Id never boil my bunnie..... I couldn't live without my rabbit ;)

The shoe pixies made me do it....

I think its safe to say that I'm going a bit do-lally with all this christmas shopping... I finally hit the wall and decided not to spend any more money..... well on other people, I'm a different matter altogether :P I couldn't help it, I needed a reward for all my shopping and traipsing around endlessly looking for gifts... O' woe is me... oh and *heavy sigh* the thought of wrapping all those things is incentive enough for me to allow myself a reward. I get more sellotape stuck to me than the paper, its not an elegant sight trust me.
I had seen the shoes for weeks every time I walked past Faith, beautiful blue ones :) and today there was a sale on so that were me jiggerd and rather than walking past... in I went. Personally I think I done very well to resist as long as I did hehe clever girl :D

If I were a boy. New lyrics I've just written... boredom works wonders :P

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Well you should.

Maybe I'm missing the 'housewife gene' or maybe I have just never been interested in being kitchen deva conjuring up all manor of baked delights. I think the latter is most likely the truest.
Getting stuck in with the flour and eggs just doesn't float my boat, I don't want to bake. My mum however does every week and brings cakes and biscuits over. I know when she was younger this was a great money saver but nower days its just as cheap to buy them ready made.
So today I grit my teeth once again as I hear my mum say 'well you should' at my reluctance to bake, 'I wont bake for you any more in that case'.
I really want to inform her that I never actually asked her to anyway, and that I'm not a 1940's housewife with no other ambition than keeping house. I do not have allocated baking, washing and cleaning days. You'd think after 31 years of getting to know me she would realize that I haven't the slightest inclination to do so. When I was little she suggest she teach me to cook but I would turn to her and say that she can teach my brother instead. Don't get me wrong I can cook and I can bake I just don't derive any pleasure from doing so. Myself and my son eat well enough I don't see the problem?? None of my friends claim to be Martha Stuart either and they seem to be doing ok.
It just really gets on my nerves that she focuses on what she thinks I should be doing and completely ignores what I have done... oh say, raising my son to be a well rounded, confident happy boy who will talk to me about anything by myself AND all without having a string of near-do-wells piling through messing his head up.
So I don't bake, I don't care. There are worse fates than having no home made cake in the cupboard and I seem to be rather successfully avoiding every one of them.

Placing an ad lol

Wanted

Wanted:- 1 man, 'intelligent' version preferable but as rarely found will settle for 'non dribbling/slightly gormless'.

Must know the difference between,

up/down

ie:- Wet towels get picked up, loo seat goes down.

On/off

ie:- Condom goes on, socks come off.

Cooking ability a bonus. Please note nuking yesterdays pizza does not constitute cooking.

Must have muscular physique as 'bag carrier' will be a very prominent duty and in summer months will be performed shirtless, purely for hygiene reasons you understand...

Must be able to supply good quality confectionery to indulge chocolate requirements, muscular physique also necessary here for providing suitable surface to eat said chocolate off as getting hands messy simply wouldn't do.....

Gifts of jewelery would also be a nice touch although Pearl necklaces will be returned to sender.

lmao :P

Its morphing time.....

So last night something a little disturbing occurred.
I was talking to my son about cleaning his glasses as they were caked in goop (quite frankly I had no idea how he could see out of them :P) ya know, nothing out of the ordinary.. and it was then it happened... as I spoke I realised I sounded like my mother!! Noooooo!!!
Not what I said really but the feel of the words and how they came out. I said it again making an concerted effort to sound like me but it was exactly the same, eep!! Even my body movements were betraying me. It was like I was mimicking her...
I like very much being an individual, my own person with my own ideas, Id so rather not morph into my mum! Ending up being obsessed with swollen ankles and pop socks (can't see the facination myself) I don't understand why it has happened now after 31years? Is there some sort of trigger like male patten baldness? The females getting the 'you will turn into your mother gene' then be powerless to stop its onset??
I really hope I don't start hankering after cardys and think nodding off with a Catherine Cookson book on my lap of an evening makes for a good night out!! I love my mum but I don't want to be her. If I put Woman's weekly on standing order I'm going to get worried.....