Lumpy bits....

Ok we have all done it, stood naked in front of the mirror turning this way and that examining our lumpy bits. Oh no, I don't like that! we exclaim and thoughts drift momentarily to signing up for the gym in order to banish those imperfections but as the realization of all that work sinks in we then decide that magic knickers would be a much better idea and would involve allot less lunging.... or so you would think!
I didn't buy the traditional flesh coloured big knickers I thought I would get black control leggings, I needed some for a night out and so thought I might aswell kill two birds with one stone and have my underwear for outerwear, sorted. It seemed like a plan and a good plan....
Well! Getting them over my feet alone was a tight squeeze to begin with.... did I have fat ankles... kankles??? No couldn't be!! this isn't a good start. I'm sat on the end of my bed chewing my lip thinking that possibly I should have gotten a bigger size... but oh well too late now I shall persevere.... So I grab the fabric of one leg and with both hands heaveeeeee *phew* Iv dragged it up to my knee. And then repeating this maneuver on the other leg, think that at least in the gym I would have sexy men in tight shorts to oggle while I sweat... this simple tummy 'tuck in' is taking more effort than I anticipated. Right back to it. I take a breath and pull!!! I get them up as far as I can (which is nowhere as near to my crotch as they should be) then adopt a stance pretty much like a sumo wrestler (stand back people this is gonna get ridiculous...) then I lift and kick my leg out pulling at the stubborn garment once again as it resists my every attempt to get myself in *you will fit, you will fit or so help me!!* I grimace. Finally after much panting, huffing, puffing and a little swearing I'm in Huzzah!! I win :P
So now it is occurring to me that visiting the gym wouldn't be as much hassle as I thought when I catch sight of myself in the mirror. Everything is sufficiently smooshed and squeezed into place and well I look fantastic :) My butt cheeks are lifted and my thighs don't wobble as I walk, amazing :D Heaven knows though how I am ever going to get out of these.... better not drink anything and need the loo.... Primark has allot to answer for :P